Monday, January 01, 2007

Yeah, Yeah, Happy New Whatever

So 2007 just began, mere minutes ago as I write. Big, fat hairy deal.

Look, it's not like it takes any effort for one year to change into the next. Stand on one foot, hold your breath until you pass out, fall over, hit your head on the corner of that possessed coffee table, wake up.... and the clock and calendar will still have ticked over.

Thing is, it's all fake. The clock and the calendar, while linked to astronomical phenomena, are artificial conventions invented by humans. It isn't as if the Earth didn't know when to cross the same spot in its orbit each year before the "year" was "invented". However, for some reason, people like to have an excuse to all get roaring drunk and set off explosives all at the same time. I don't particularly care to do either; my daughter & her friends are currently taking care of the latter. I'm sure someone out there has got me covered on drinks.

So, where's the clever "2007" piece? Well, I'm working on it, but it isn't quite right (as in "funny enough") yet, so maybe later this year. Like tomorrow. Still, I don't feel any different than I did 18 minutes ago, and I don't think there's anything wrong with me. In that respect, anyway. Quite frankly, the whole New Year's thing got old. Being glad that 2006 is over? Sure, I can see that.... however, I told myself one time too many that "This year's just got to be better than the last stinker." I wasn't lying to myself, I was genuinely optimistic. Unfortunately, the evidence has failed to support the hypothesis, and if I hear me say that one more time, I swear, I'm gonna punch my lights out.

As I mentioned, my daughter is having this big party/sleepover soiree. Thankfully, not at my house. Close enough, however; it's at my father-in-law's house diagonally across the street. There will be absolutely no alcohol or drugs. There are a bunch of minors there, after all (though my daughter herself is 22); it's also "house rules". Disbelieve me if you like, but this is such a swell bunch that it's no problem. I observe this, and think back to the sorts of parties I went to when in my teens and in college, and I can't help but wonder: What the hell happened to this generation??

And then I have to re-think a bit.... because if all those years in between ticking over really had nothing that was any better than the last, then how did they turn out so well? I'd love to take credit for it, but I know better than that. Maybe we did learn some things of value over the years & passed them down. Maybe they're the ones teaching us.

Well, if that's the case.... then 2007 has some hope in it after all.

PPD (Post-post Digression) The first part of the festivities was a movie, and they decided to all go see Dreamgirls. I couldn't help myself, and posted the following feedback about the movie on the E-vite:

Warning: Sorry, Dreamgirls has no mud wrestling, but there IS: Lots of senseless violence, mostly involving Basque separatists & undead Quakers; language foul enough to shock a longshoreman; graphic descriptions of the smell of old bowling shoes; & pavonine misuse of frozen waffles. Have a sensitive stomach? Don't eat anything with mayonnaise in it before seeing the film.

No, there's no particular reason why it came out that way.... however, it did make my spouse and I both curious about the undead Quakers. "Isn't that contradictory?" she asked. To make a long story short, just to prove that I can actually do it, I decided to find out. What better way to find out than approach it from both sides? So, I just wrote a friend of mine who's a Quaker. I asked whether a person who was a Quaker, upon becoming a vampire, could still actually be a Quaker, since on the surface they would appear to be mutually exclusive conditions? (I'd better not get an answer back saying "I don't believe in vampires"....). to be perfectly fair, I sent the same question to a friend of mine who's a vampire. No, he really IS a vampire. Why should it surprise you that I have a vampire among my circle of friends?

Anyway, when I find out, I'll let you know. Since I doubt that anyone has ever researched this question before, I can rightfully claim that this is the definitive study, right here, by the Eye Wit.

1 comment:

Rick said...

Since this is a difinitive study, does this mean you'll get your PHd? Or will you pass it on to your spouse, since she already has a masters? ;-)