Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Queen of Pins

Ode to the Queen of Pins

O hail the ever gracious Queen
Who wields the Holy Pin
That drapes with mickle pointy lance
Supple, shim'ring muslin
She wears the sacred bandoliers
Adorned with safety clasps
How weighty yet how fastenating
These seamstressary hasps!
E'en yet the jave' like arrow staves
Meld in the royal scabbard
To stay the 'stumely motif made
To form a proper tabard
She even can, when need arises
Make use of hat pin modes
And join chapeau and prissy head
In this no evil bodes
When all juice ceases, 'chines do stop
Yet still the 'lines do live
Her clothes pins conquer sunlit glades
And make spring fresh scents give
Stout push pins do their pattern hold
The paper, cloth in twain
In this the Queen with bondage does
Become a Queen of Pain
Though knotty times befall us all
There is not much to say
Save "T" shaped instruments are used
When doing macrame
Still, gentler hours, they do prevail
When her Highness feels maternal
The special pins that she doth use
When changings seem eternal
Hold, you who say the Queen's obsessed
With objects that be pointy
Have never seen her "Robert's" pins
Or hair pins, bent and jointy
Now, 'fore you think Her Nibs domain
Is perfect and all compassed
There am some pins she holds no sway
So do not raise a rumpus
It grieves her so when linch pins are
The center of attention
She has no power these crucial times

So please you, do not mention
Hath she a care for hinge pin lore?
I do not think so, ma'am
They're only fit for techies and
The Queen don't give a damn
Plus, please don't mention bowling pins
They're just no good for sewing
"They'll not through damask go," says she
With wisdom, aye, all knowing
Par'mount, beware her 'pricious moods
If you should Queen displease
She'll exercise her firing pin
And end your lifely lease...
O dance with spins
And raise loud dins
Fish wave their fins
'Midst cotton gins
With kith and kins
Absolved of sins
The yangs and yins
She ever wins
She ne'er gives in
All on Wheat Thins...
All hail, worship, and stand
For the Queen,
The Queen of Pins

Dedicated to Diane, June, and all
Costuming Persons

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